#15197 I have a strange ability. If you were to have me eat a bread type product, I could tell you the recipe with 80% accuracy.

#15198 I love my noisy birds

#15189 Last year, I was raped while passed out drunk. The encounter scared me away from drinking altogether. To complicate things, a month later, I found out I was pregnant.

Being told earlier in my life that I had a slim chance of having children, I wanted to keep it. I started trying to get my life in order and prepare, but it was hard working a part-time job and feeling sick all the time while keeping it all a secret.

My mom found my prenatal vitamins and inevitably about the pregnancy. Everything from my life was removed: my car, my home, any support at all... I was homeless, tired, sick, and scared. She used this to her advantage. She told me she'd pay for me to abort it. She told me we could forget all about it, that I could come home, that I could have somewhere to sleep other than the shelter, that life would be normal again.

So I did. That was almost a year ago. I now suffer from something called Post Abortion Stress Syndrome. I can no longer have intercourse without feeling extreme pain because my vaginal muscles lock up. I constantly worry if I'll ever be able to have kids again. I wish I had a baby now. I feel guilty that I killed my baby, even though it was a cluster of cells. Those cells had a heartbeat and looked kinda cute on the ultrasound. I already loved it. I was scared and under pressure. With no place to go, not many friends to talk to, and very few options.

I regret it so much that I tried to kill myself in December. I OD'd on the drugs I was taking for depression. Therapy yielded mediocre results. Now I walk around with this pain, wishing I could forget or that it never happened. I tell people who know about the pregnancy that I miscarried just to avoid their judgement.

On a religious level I feel doomed. I feel like there's just no point anymore, I'm going to hell now. God won't ever give me a second chance at another baby when I'm ready. I don't deserve it.

I don't know what to do anymore. I've lost friends over this. I've lost myself over this. I'm morbidly depressed. I hold so much hatred for feeling forced into the abortion, even though I had a choice, I felt like I didn't. All of my now pregnant friends get life handed to them on a silver platter. Their families support them. Their parents are excited to become grandparents. Mine just hate me now.

#15190 So there's a girl who's mutual friends with quite a few of my friends and she pops up in that silly "recommended friends" box on Facebook all the time. She's into things that I'm into and is really cute, yet it's a bit disheartening that I'll never meet her...

#15188 I don't think I'm ever going to find love

#15185 I was Skypeing a friend when she suddenly had to use the bathroom, I guess she left her laptop really close to the bathroom cause I could hear her pooping.

#15186 My little sister a couple years ago had a hamster. She was pretty young at the time, and she thought the hamster was too hot so she put it in the freezer to cool it. She then took it out and thought that it was too cold so she put it in the microwave and it blew up.

#15187 I wanna become a striper