Friday, 15 May 2015 02:40 PM
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#15339 So, my roommate recently started dating an ex of mine. He thinks its fine, but what he doesn't know is that I'm now using his razor to shave my balls
Friday, 15 May 2015 02:39 PM
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#15337 My roommate has been a complete ass-wipe all week so I've been wiping my ass with his towel all week
Friday, 15 May 2015 02:36 PM
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#15331 Sometimes I get the urge to have sexual relations with my dog. And then I am like nah, you don't want to step into that freak zone
Friday, 15 May 2015 02:35 PM
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#15332 I was once sitting behind my crush in lecture, watching him browse tinder. He got to my profile and swiped left. :(
Friday, 15 May 2015 02:27 PM
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#15333 Last week the Connector was so packed I think I accidentally got to third base with the girl standing behind me.
Friday, 15 May 2015 08:26 AM
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#15321 I'm tiered of people assuming I'm a pedofile, hacker, and/or rapist.
Friday, 15 May 2015 08:22 AM
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#15322 Just took a dump and lost 4lb
Friday, 15 May 2015 08:17 AM
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#15323 I wish I could just enjoy things again. I always feel like I have to be so critical so wound up.