#16645 im only attending the u to find a rich guy that will carry me through life.

#16646 I would like to take this moment to apologize to anyone who has ever walked into my fart bomb in the elevator. I didn't know that anyone would be immediately entering it once I departed. (I'm a girl lol)

#16647 On a fateful day in November, I was fucking a slam in my dorm room, and my roommate had gone home for the weekend..... So we decided to make it interesting, and we were fucking in different places around the room. As it came down to the final seconds of glory, I realized that something didn't feel right. I paid no mind to it, and ended finishing inside of her. As I pulled out later, I noticed that my preferred form of contraception(Condom) had gone missing. With horror, I realized that I had wet my whistle without the rubber on. This could only mean one thing, the condom was still inside her, so I proceeded to stick my fingers back inside of her, and fish out the sad-looking piece of protection. Needless to say I spent $45 on Plan B that night.

#16648 To the girl who wore yoga pants and converse in Chem, you are very pretty. I want to talk to you, but you might be too good for me. Thanks for making lab more enjoyable. -Guy in your lab

#16649 Rachael, I would drag my junk over hot coals and broken glass just to hear you fart through a walkie-talkie

#16640 Same sex marriage cannot be banned in the United States as of today.
How about we just call it "marriage" now and get ready for more cake and drunken dance floor shenanigans?
#LoveWins

#16639 Can you imagine how hard it would be to do the YMCA dance in chinese?

#16638 Why won't this confessions thing work?!!