#16801 A dream that was creepin' I kept in my sight and then it turned and it took me, an explosion, it shook me.
Beauty that screams "I'm alive."

#16800 When I was a kid I would feel bad for the less popular cereals and eat them. Still do sometimes...

#16799 One day you’re dreaming, the next, your dream has become your reality. It was the best of times. If only someone had told me. Mistakes were made, hearts were broken, harsh lessons learned. My family goes on without me, while I drown in a sea of pointless pussy. I don’t know how I got here. But here I am, this is college.

#16798 Hipsters are deadly. they'll throw their Sturbucks, organic kale, and play indie music records right up your ass. You see their beanie hats? They double as masks. Zombie apocalypse are too mainstream, the hipster apocalypse will be so fucking brutal.

#16792 I am a girl who loves beards, but most of my girlfriends don't. Of the girls who like this page, who loves beards?

#16793 That horrible predicament you find yourself in when you feel like you might need to throw up but then the urge to poop hits you and you're just like "oh no..." And you have to decide which is the lesser of two evils....

#16794 I still wear tighty whities.

#16795 Overheard outside my apartment last week:
Girl: "Yeah, but I really don't feel that way. You're interpreting this all wrong."
Guy: "But you liked my past 3 profile pictures."
Girl: "That doesn't mean anything other than I like the picture."
Guy: "... it meant something to me."
Me (inside my head): What the actual fuck people? I'm over here trying to eat my over-cooked grilled chicken in peace while contemplating the mysteries of my own personal life and you're getting friend-zoned at a public location. Can we keep it down so I can focus on feeling sorry for myself?