#18263 So my co-worker who claims to be right about everything, just Saud, "June was said to be the hottest month on record, because Donald Trump is running for president." Today I was not in a mood to fuck around, and asked him if he truely believes it was that and not nature just being on a cycle, humans giving with the balance of nature, or anything else... He said, it's trump... And they wonder why I don't show up early to work anymore...

#18258 This is the first time I've been single for more than a month since I started dating. While I see some of the perks and I act like I love it, I'd give anything to be comfortably in love instead.

#18257 I wish that Gordon Ramsey would act like he does in Hell's Kitchen on master chef junior

#18256 Whenever I start dating someone new I search their name on pornhub

#18255 I introduced my nephew to minecraft for the first time used an inverted mouse

#18254 People keep telling me "they're your ex for a reason" but everytime i see your name I think about all of the good things you did, i still remember how we unraveled but I'm stuck in nostalgia

#18253 What are you going to do now?

Uphold the galactic alliance... With my cock!!!

#18252 To the guy who broke his pinky finger at the co-rec Saturday night. I really hope you're doing well by now. Have a good first week of classes.