#18291 I just want to grow a beard in peace

#18287 Cleaned my roommate's fishtank with her tooth brush cause she wouldn't clean it herself

#18288 I invited people to my apartment so my plant would get more carbon dioxide

#18289 I sign up for a lot of online subscriptions so on my birthday I receive tons of birthday email

#18290 For a while I used to think that the right and left twixt were actually made differently

#18286 I tell everyone I listen to OneRepublic and Poets of the Fall, but when I get home, I listen to 80's dance songs and dance my little heart out. :)

#18285 My fat friend came over during a party and got drunk and started singing "thriller" his voice got really high and he can actualy sing great. after the song he passed out and my friend drew a michael jackson doodle on his face so funny.

#18284 Requirements to be a security guard at my post is to have an associate's degree, and 2 years of experience... Those who are hired pass these requirements, some have more experience, such as management... Yet none of these mother fuckers even know their job, which only has 5 parts to it...