I met you last Sunday in front of Cline while we waited for it to open. We traded a lot of glances, each of us pretending we weren't looking at each other. Some casual flirting. I got your first name after I grilled you about hating Subaru Imprezas but when it came time to offer my number or ask for yours, I totally choked and ran away. You were cute as hell and damn I fucked that up.

there is only one hot girl on the rugby team and i'd let her ruck me any day

I so loathe when people give others crap/pass judgement for smoking weed. It's college. Lighten up. Have some fun.
I'm not saying that everyone needs to do it, but you shouldn't look down on others because they choose to smoke.
If you're curious about it, try it you probably won't regret it, and in the end, it's the things that you didn't do that you regret, not the things you did.

When I see a porn star who looks kinda like a person I know I'm not sure if I should be shocked or continue fapping.

The guy with long hair and glasses that works at the Wedge is a sexy god

The moment when you find out your friend is a raging homosexual. /shrug didn't expect that.

I have a fetish for Kim Kardashian's pregnant body. It would be extra awesome if she were wearing glasses.

Sometimes when I'm bored in class, I daydream about how I'd save NAU from a fire breathing dragon.