I swear to god, if you hurt her one more time I am coming after you. I have no idea why she is still dating you.

Why are people still saving seats in class in college? I thought we would be more mature than that at this age.
Sincerely- the girl who almost had to leave class because of some girls' late friends

You know I said it's true. I can feel the love. Can you feel it too? I can feel it, aww, aww. I can feel it aww, aww.

Ladies! what will you think if a guy buys you the Kids Combo at the movie theater? I personally see nothing wrong with it, for 5 dollars, you fucking get popcorn, a drink/ ICEE and fucking gummy bears? What else can a girl want?

if I see that your Tinder doesn't have at least one picture of you by yourself, you are automatically skipped lol who are you trying to fool?

You realize we are the first generation brought up with access to high-speed internet porn? Do you have any idea what effects that has on the brain?

Quit porn now and save yourself while you can. I promise when you meet that perfect girl, your limp dick and lack of drive will not impress her.

Whoever plays number 10 on the basketball team, you are the cutest guy I've seen! Really wish you played more, because you're damn good!

Shutout to the homeboy who was moaning in the mens restroom sbs west... I could hear you from the hall, weirdo.