PSA: both the drinking fountains at the gym can be used...at the same time. SERIOUSLY!!!

I'm in love with a swimmer!! we're just friends at the moment, but this Valentine will be the best day in her life. Imma do it big for her ;)

What the fuck is up with girls and drama? Why can't you just chill the fuck out and be cool? I dot understand what is so hard about that. That shit is like fucking oxygen to you people.

I had sex with my 42 year old neighbor when I got super drunk this weekend. Well I also found out that he is the assistant teacher in one of my classes today......

Girls who skateboard in yoga pants >

If you ever tell me biology isn't a science again, I will chop off your balls, and inform every doctor who would otherwise try to save you that you said that.

You make me sick. You make me want to run around and beat people with a flaming plank and then curl into a ball, crying, whilst shoving fries and ice cream in my face. You make me uncomfortable with my body. tou make being horny a terrible infliction.I hate you.

Stupid period. PMS, you stupid son of a bitch

the bartender at maloneys tonight...damn he has those arms that I could stroke all night, among other things ;)