So ive been talking to two girls lately and last night I was texting both of them, I asked both of them out at the same time just for shits and giggles. They both said yes
Oops.

Someone really needs to actually open up a strip club here!

I really want to ask this girl out. She was in one my classes last semester; I've texted her a few times and now I can't even go to class without running into her. I don't think she likes me though because she hardly ever talks to me...

Before I fist my boyfriend, I yell "falcon punch!"

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So for my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

Bonjour! Let’s Spice Things up,

Here’s my confession as a “Newbie” Admin, and I hope you enjoy talking all the crap you want.

About some time ago on a Friday night, I was sitting in my room, bored as can be. I decided to go out. I had to sneak out of my parents’ house; it’s very easy since I have a big house. Out the back door I went, without a worry! I hit up my best friend Bill (Changed his name), to look for a party in my small town. Bill doesn’t regularly go out on weekends or a.k.a party his ass off, like I do most weekends. Law enforcement tends to patrol more often and ask anyone what their up too, even if nothing wrong doing is occurring. I met up with Bill, and I ended up telling him to man up and drink a damn beer. He gagged on his first sip. Soon after we hit up a party, there were so many upperclassmen. Back then I wanted to earn upperclassmen respect, so like any dumbass I drank way too much. Just to impress older students in Beer Pong, I got shitfaced. Yes, I was very good and competitive at the time. Time flew by so quickly from 10pm-3am, I did my 30 second keg stand, the table was mine all night in pong, amazing music, great people, consumed one drink, then one turned into three, and so on! I got flashed for the first fucking time. LOL. How was it overall? An amazing time, but I blacked out. The last thing I remember was carrying Bill to the bathroom, because he was throwing up. My eyes opened. Light was everywhere, my head hurt so damn bad, throat hurt, and my head hurt. I was missing one shoe; my shirt was ripped in half, missing a contact lens, I lost my pants, and I was butt naked. Yes butt naked in my bed…then I look over to my left. My younger brother is next to me sleeping. I freaked out, and then rushed to put clothes on. Talk about weird, and very embarrassing! Parents found out about the party and I got caught. Also, of course I was grounded, but I found out later Bill got lost after the party got rolled. Apparently I walked home, fell down the stairs, got punched, peed my pants, threw up outside on my yard, and Bill called his bro to hook us up with some afghan tree. What an epic night for me. Embarrassing but I think I topped off everyone on most embarrassing moments. wow.

That is my little narrative to you. Boring, who cares, that’s a dumb story, blah, & blah! At least I had a great time because I found Bill on my fucking roof…no lie..

Au Revoir! Bon-Weekend!

The Joozh Eater

I'm too afraid to have sex because I'm ashamed of my body.

I have been working on it though, I hate being so ashamed to have sex even though I'm told that I'm beautiful and the person "doesn't care about size".
To me it just sounds like you don't care how I feel about myself, and all they want is the sex.

Today I met the boy I'm gonna marry
He's all I've wanted all my life and even more
He smiled at me and then the music started playing
Here comes the bride when he walked through the door