As one of the people who got free food from the food truck... I must say my stoned ass and I really appreciated it.. Those fries were great (and free)

If your upset about not having a Valentine this Valentine's day, just think that all these poor ignorant people are spending tons of money on somebody that is probably cheating on them anyway, for a holiday that was commercialized by companies like Hallmark for the sole purpose of making money and making you feel guilty if you don't spend money. Happy Valentine's Day!

Oh yeah, and happy birthday Arizona. You deserve love too.

Lube for the N00b?
Yeah right...vagina lube if you wanna touch my boob.

The moment she leaves and you let out the biggest fart of your life.

Vegan bacon is not an abomination. It is delicious. You have no excuse YOU CAN'T NOT LIKE BACON!

pissed in all of the beer pong cups at a party last weekend while everyone was out of the room.

I constantly cook for my bf, so he can gain weight and I'll look better than him #sorrynotsorry

Both my roommates' girlfriends had no clue what a clitoris was. One described a thesaurus and the other pointed to her shin