I still eat my boogers.

Yes roommate, I peed in your pickle jar.

I wish it was acceptable for men to wear UGGS… They are so comfy.

I was trying to park in an extremely packed parking lot and there were no spots anywhere! So I ended up picking up some guys motor scooter and moved it to the handicapped parking space and parked where his scooter was. I came back from the hotspot to find that his motor scooter got a parking ticket… #sorrynotsorry

Last weekend, my roommate and I started a free strip club in our dorm where we provide free booze and free lap dances (tips are appreciated). OCCASIONALLY we fuck our customers depending on the circumstances. So far, we have gotten big crowds to come watch us! We're also hiring if there are any girls who are down to make a few extra bucks in tips! =]

All you virgins who slut shame every single girl who confesses about anything related to sex are hilarious. I mean seriously, there could be a post that says "I love having sex with my boyfriend," and you losers will immediately respond with "whore." Haha, get a fucking life, take that stick out of your ass, and experience the real world, not the porn you watch every night. Just because she isn't sleeping with you doesn't mean she's a slut.

I am a girl. I am fit, social, and smoke more weed than anyone i know. Absolutely NO ONE would guess it, but i'm pretty open about it. I am also pre-law, have a 4.2 GPA, a phenomenal internship, healthy relationships and am genuinely happy. HATE the stoners, you very very unhappy haters <3 Kisses from a girl who will be massively more successful, and smoke the whole way up

My roommate claims to be a hippie, but yet she's the biggest bitch I know...