I feel fancy when I used mozzarella instead of cheddar.

Has anyone seen a dog namd "Eva" brindle coat, German Shepard mix, 5 months old. She has a collar. She was just lost around 11:30 this morning. If you have seen her, please comment!

My friend told me he went on a 17-day streak of having sex with a different girl each day/night, and the only reason it ended was by choice. He even pulled a triple header one day...I didn't know whether I was proud of him, or if I lost a bit of respect for him, but either way this accomplishment was Barney Stinson level legen...DARY!

When I came back to Flagstaff I rode the train... and the person by me kept farting, and had terrible music playing.

I found prescribed meds from 1997 in my car. Fuck, I need to clean this shit more often.

In Cline, the stairwells sometimes smell like wet paint and shame.

I chill in my room with a huge T-shirt and boxers and my life has never been better.

Tell her she's smart. Bitches love that shit.