Once, I pissed into my brita filter bottle to see if it would taste like water... it did not.

Every time my female friend's boyfriend makes her cry, I sign him up for a new hardcore gay porn e-mail newsletter. He's getting four so far. I'm not sorry.

I've been rolling joints out of the mini bibles that guy keeps handing out...

Sociology of Sexuality 316 is a class EVERY STUDENT AT NAU MUST TAKE. The man who was speaking literally brought me to tears. I cannot fathom having that much courage to talk about all the hardship, drugs, unwanted sex services, broken family,and family issues this man spoke about to 100 strangers. It makes me appreciate the life I have and realize no matter how bad things get in life 1. it could be worse and 2. it ALWAYS gets better. Please be kind to people, you never know where they are coming from.

Why do guys find friend-zoning so terrible? Personally, I'd rather get to know someone before going out with them. Just because you've been "friend-zoned" doesn't mean you no longer have a chance

You shorted me twelve grams. If I ever cross paths with you again I'm taking one of your fingers.

Those people you hate seeing on your news feed, but can't delete because they'll know you don't like them and you see them everyday. :/

This girl who used to buy massive amounts of weed from me just got busted for possession. Fuckin cunt cops -.-