to all advisors who made me enroll in stupid hard classes, you're the worst

Why the hell do you only text me at night. I'm not some piece of crap that you can come to when you are horny. Btw your constant use of smiley faces is repulsive. Have fun smoking your weed and whatever other drugs you do.

I just shaved my roommates' ass... I'm a girl, and he's a guy....

I really need to get some shit off my chest. What makes someone better than another? Nothing! People get over yourselves, especially women, just because a guy tells you he wants a relationship doesn't mean he just wants your poonani maybe he actually really likes you. Maybe he hasnt felt that way about a girl in a really long time and you just broke his heart. Also the other thing I need to get off my chest is that I get really emotional when I drink and Im really drunk.

I really don't give a shit if you smoke weed, but if you wear clothes with pot leaves on them and stuff, I assume you're probably a loser.

I used my Xbox's browser to go to PornHub and watch HD porn on my 50' TV. Big mistake

I've recently started to like a friend of mine, I'm going to tell him the next time I see him...I just don't know how. Any ideas?

Whoever threw something at my window in McConnell, fuck offff