I hope my roommate knows that just because our beds are bunked doesn't mean I can't feel the beds move when she is having sex. I sometimes feel like yelling don't fall off the top bunk when she thinks I am asleep.

I usually want to reach through the screen and smack the shit out of the people that say "lol" or "lmao" because did you? Did you REALLY? Is that a thing you actually did?

To the female worker in the HLC weight room on 9/15, I would like to marry you and your kick ass playlist for my morning workout

Are there any pop punk or reggae bands out there that need a guitarist? Or anyone who just wants to have fun and jam?

I can't bring myself to compliment girls if they're with friends because I feel like it'll make their friends feel less pretty.

People think I'm a genuinely sensitive dude with alot oc emotion and feelings....but I'm actually a raging manipulative dickhead who plans world domination on a daily basis. You'll know me as that one tall guy who always smiles really big and waves to you in the halls.

People are constantly commenting on these with pictures and memes, regardless of whether they even fit or are funny in any way. They're just doing it because they've seen others do it. Yes, now ironically comment with pictures on here. It'll definitely give you the last laugh.

I swear it's the same 4 people that comment on every single confession. Yet here I am... creepin away on them...