Some days, I think about dressing up as Jesus because it's the only way I'm going to get nailed ever again.

Met this girl on south campus and hung out with her last night, after she got in the bed with me and we started kissing, she told me she was a transsexual. #imightaswellgogaynow

I can't wait till they legalize marijuana in Arizona so i can go in front of the police station and smoke a fat blunt!

Can we stop with all the posts about STDs?? Seriously. Just grow the fuck up, be honest, and tell the truth. It gets you farther in the long run, trust me. And enough with the insensitivity. The majority of you don't even know how people became to get them. You can be in an honest relationship and still get them. All you need is a cold sore :) sucks, doesn't it?

S/O to police officer who constantly laughed with the students while they spoke witty remarks at the hockey games. #warmupthebus #gojacks

When I find a girl who actually loves the move Yellow Submarine and as willing to do the sing alongs with me, I may marry her. As to the girl in the Starbucks last night who was repping her sorority and had a yellow submarine on her sonority shirt, you ma'am are a Class A stuck up bitch. Sorry I gave you a compliment. Just letting you know. =)

I should stop messaging girls on Facebook and tinder and try talking to one in person. Why am I such a pussy

Please people, tell others when you have an STD, nobody wants that shit. I was avidly pursuing this really fine girl, who was giving me all green lights. Only to find on our next meeting two very large, unsightly herpes. She obviously knew she had them, due to her uneasy demeanor, nervous hand movements towards her face, and newly found awkwardness whilst socializing.. I didn't mean to hurt her feelings, even though I probably did, when I completely stopped talking to her from that point forward. However, I do not know if she intended on telling me, or if I would have found out the hard way. Luckily, I dodged a bullet there! Careful out there mates, nobody wants herpes, but Herpes Wants You!

P.S. Pretty sure the admins have STD's. My last two posts promoting safe sex and and reminding people of the dangers of STD's have not been posted. Why? I have no idea, it seems like a good subject to remind a bunch of horny college kids about. Perhaps the term STD's is not popular among them!:(