One of my friends is completely convinced that I'm gay. I don't have the heart to tell him that I banged his ex girlfriend.

Hey ladies- if you want to wear whatever you want to wear, go the fuck for it. Hey dudes- if you want to do the same, go the fuck for it. It's been my experience that the people who care about clothes the most are the ones with nothing of substance living underneath their own.

Everything today has to be a contest. You're taking 17 credits? Someone out there is taking 23 and working full-time and has a baby. You fell off your bike and skinned your knee? Someone just fell out of their window and broke their leg. We're not even competing to be better now, just to be worse.

As someone doesn't drink, I feel the pain of the previous confession from a non-drinker. However, I am usually fine with just saying "no" when someone offers me alcohol instead of going through the whole spiel. The only thing that sucks is when people try to force it on you after you've said no several times.

I laugh at the self-righteous engineering students who constantly whine about how busy they are. You can't simultaneously try to rub it in people's faces that you are going to make a lot of money after college, and then ask for pity because you can't go out Friday night. Good luck doing something you all clearly hate for the rest of your life!

I use arial instead of times new roman when I write papers because arial is bigger and takes up more space.

To all the frat kids and sorority girls, you aren't special. All you need is money to join one so don't think your better than everyone who isn't part of a frat or sorority. You all disgust me.

You guys are awesome. I don't think I've ever laughed so much after taking my Firebird for a cruise. Roush Mustang owner, sorry about my friend's post, for the record the car is Orange, not yellow. I've spent a lot of money on my car, don't let him get to you. Thank you all so much, you all made me very happy today! Maybe I will have to take it out more often!
- The happy owner of the orange and black Firebird.