Everyone measures and judges dicks by their length but that doesn't matter at all. In fact, when guys have really long dicks it just hurts and doesn't do anything for me. It's really all about the girth.

so who's going to be smashing pumpkins?

I was pissed at my roommate because of his stupidity during tequila sunrise, so i decided to masturbate into the bottle of beer he was going to be drinking later.

I like to throw all of my school papers, about paying my loans and shit, into the waste basket and then watch some porn and masturbate my load all over those papers.

That moment when she says go deeper but you ran outta dick

My roommate is an incredibly wild drunk. We already have one hole in the wall from something that he can't remember doing, and I had to physically restrain him one night because he was trying to fight one of my guests. He's a nice guy when he's sober, but the problem is that he drinks every night.

I've had sex in a porta potty! Twice! Handicap porta potty! Fuckin dunefest????????

You will soon learn that tequila sunrise is nothing compared to night tripping on acid. And it's cheaper.