Here's the thing, I'm pretty fucking sure I chose the wrong major. I chose it because I thought it would be a challenge...thhhhhhhhaaaat I could handle. Now I'm almost a senior, and I'm in over my head. I had a gpa higher than 3.5 coming into this semester, and now I'm hoping to pass my classes. Also, they think I want a prestigious job because everyone in that field is there for money. I just want a sustainable job that's in demand so if I fuck up, I can move somewhere and look for work...instead of there being one position open for a job in Nebraska.
I have no idea what to do, my life is a complete wreck...every mental issue I have ever had is congregating to create a storm and I am barely getting gasps of air here and there, yet I look normal most the time. I just don't think other people have been through this. I have no clue what to do.

My roommate and I have a new secret pact to sleep with freshman before we graduate. We're senior girls. And we have NO idea where to pick up freshman boys.

One time I put a banana in my pants and went to the club to get some ass. I accidentally passed out because the banana cut off circulation to my penis. Awkwardest story to explain to the paramedic but I'm pretty sure he was into me because he kept grabbing my ass as I faded in and out.

All my life I thought thongs would be uncomfortable before I actually wore one. Basically... my ass cheeks are in heaven right now. It's like I'm not wearing anything.

Okay, so I'm an agnostic, and I am horrified by other agnostic/atheists who disrespect religion. You guys give us a bad name. I understand all of the atheist arguments against organized religion. I agree with most of them. But I have met some of the nicest religious people and some anti-religious douche bags. You don't have to respect the hateful literature of the Bible like Leviticus, or extremist groups like ISIS. Hell no (no pun intended). But you SHOULD respect faith and positivity and spirituality and people's right to express that even if you don't agree. As long as faith is kept out of government and to thyself, why the fuck should it matter? Get off your high horse atheists. You're just as bad as the evangelicals who tell me it's wrong to eat dick.

When you like a girl but you can't date her due to circumstance and you realize that only 1 in 500 girls are like her. #foreveralone

It's one thing to pee in the shower(if it's running) but for fuck sake if both toilets are being used at the moment, just wait a sec. Don't go and just piss in the shower dain and not rinse it away lol

Bullshit when you see the annoying 'succeeding' person act like they did bad on the exam. I hope you fail next time by coming in second.