So I got busted having drunk sex with my girlfriend on my patio. They called the cops and I got a misdemeanor for public sexual indency. I didn't have to register and have 3 years probation. Now I can't get a job anywhere. I've went to court several times to get it expunged & the judge said no. It feels like I'm being treated like I pedo.

There are few things more attractive to me than a female exercising or working out. Keep on that road to self-improvement ladies. You look amazing

I knew Kayla Mueller before she left the country to do aid work. Now she's gone and I cant handle it. :(

If you have a hard time studying listen here: Step 1) Eat a burrito from cobrizos, step 2) Wait 15m for it to reach your [insert scientific term for stomach here], step 3) go to the bathroom and take your notes,books,etc. step 4) Read over your notes for until your butthole stops burning. P.S. Do not take your phone to the bathroom.

When I'm sitting in a freshmen class as a senior. "I'm just here so I won't lose credit."

I wanted to get a minor in statistics until I took Eco 201.

You'll get out alive, and you'll get a job. I don't know a single graduate from my class who isn't in grad school, or doesn't have a job. Just don't give up, you're already here! Not everyone has this chance.

Got hella stoned over the weekend. Had my first official lesbian orgy!! #stoned&boned