I'm thirsty but i don't really give a fuck. I just want to eat a girl out, i'm good at it!

to the girl who almost slipped on the banana peel near the union....nice boobs

To the girl i had a conversation with at the HLC urgent care. You are gorgeous and I enjoyed chatting with ya. Hope ya feel better, and hope this makes your day =D

I laugh at art majors

I can not stand my damn job. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it, my co workers suck.
First of all there is this damn supermodel wannabe girl who thinks she's all that, she's ok but She's constantly putting on makeup or fixing her hair, completely useless and practically brain dead!
The other chick is the complete opposite, she's pretty smart, probably one of those valedictorian girls and everything but here she is with us. She's ugly as sin, and i'm not sure she even showers!
But the best of the bunch is this fucking stoner. He's more than your average pothead, in fact he comes to work baked, during work he's high as fuck and probably after work too. He dresses like a beatnik and he even brings HIS DAMN DOG to work! It's a huge animal too, probably stoned as well. They are always hungry (go figure) and can barely do their job and are always leaving to go to Carls Jr and Mcdonalds and shit EVERY FUCKING DAY.

So anyway, I drive these idiots around in my van and we solve mysteries and shit.

The soccer player with part of her head shaved... damn girl

I wish I was Ron Weasley. I don't care that he's a guy, he gets Hermione and it doesn't get better than that.

To the guys who were pretending to have some serious difficulties walking through the wind in front of the physics building, thanks for brightening my day! Everyone around you looked kind of irritated, but I assure you that you had at least one person laughing her ass off.