So over the summer I had sex with my ex just because I knew she was in a relationship with a woman who fucking hates me.

I did primarily because I already know the chick will cause drama when she see's me and all I'll say is

" and I was screwing ur chick when she was with you, control your women and ur mouth" *snaps*

Hahahhaa I'm such a litte BITCH.

to the guy who drives the jeep with an american flag on it, please give me a ride in your jeep!

where are all those country girls that like to go shooting, hunting, hiking and getting muddy off roading? show your self!

sincerely,
a redneck

Last year I fucked this guy at a party and I still haven't been able to get him out of my head. I didn't think he'd make this much of an impression on me, but I wish I would've given him my number.

Some girl in my lab class today, "I checked my e-mail like 100 times this morning to see if it was a snow day..." homie it has not even begun.

Sometimes I have fantasies about sorority girls licking hummous off my nipples. Because like. They're really judgmental.

I like getting hickies and claw marks. When a girl leaves red on my back and purple on my collarbone, I am a very happy man.

I just did a very sexy dance to Britney Spears. Unfortunately no one was around to see it.