I confess that the only reason I go to the gym is so I can eat hot pockets and not feel as bad about it.

It seems like every kid in my Honors bio class is a narcissistic ass. It is like a group of 6 of them and they all sit by me and I want to tell them to just shut up, no one cares!

When attractive girls complain about how ugly and/or fat they are. It makes them seem less attractive to me. Bitch I know what you're doing. Just stop, you're embarrassing yourself. Guys like it when you are confident with yourself no matter how you look, don't fish for compliments.

I like to wake up my roommate in the middle of the night to let him know that i could have killed him...

Kinda ironic to see posts about needing to clean up their lives after Tequila Sunrise weekend. But in all seriousness, congratulations I applaud you for making the realization of what you need to do. That is one of the biggest steps is coming out of denial and making the choice for yourself not anyone else. As someone who has had their own problems with alcohol I reassure you you're making the right decision if your coming to conclusions at this point of the negative effects it's having in your life. I'm not judging people that do drink, or smoke or whatever (because it would be unbelievably hypocritical for me to do so). Although this post seems to sound as if I am, hey whatever makes ya happy. Just be careful and responsible is all that I am sayin' : P

There are so many things in the world that I would prefer to Hamlet. Romeo and Juliet is almost one of them.

When Im working late behind the bar and I need to use the bathroom I sometimes go the corner of the bar hold a pitcher underneath and filler up. Its too loud dark and filled with drunk people for anyone to notice.

I have the most intolerably rude roommate ever. She does so many little things that piss me off, I don't ever want to see her again when our lease is up.