I went on 5 dates, with 5 different girls, in one day. I'm not cheating on anyone, because I don't know these girls hardly at all. But I still feel like I'm being disloyal. I'm really just trying new people out because I'm lonely and miss my ex.

I secretly wish that I come across a shit-faced girl who would be extremely easy to take advantage of just so when she is passed out I can shove a note up her vagina that says "This could have been a penis you idiot."

I am a girl and I am 1,000 times more likely to strike up a conversation with a guy than with another girl. Girls are usually self conscious as shit so they don't talk and it is rude. Guys usually pretend to care what I'm saying at least.

Literally, if you give me a genuine smile you become a possibility for marriage in my mind. Moving too quickly? Yep. Do I actually act on this thought? No. Just know that a nice smile is a super big turn-on for me.

The first time my mom met my boyfriend, It was when I was in the hospital for heart problems. he had gone in for side pain the same time I had gone in for heart pain...apparently they diagnosed him with "sympathy pain" due to what was going on with me (which I found adorable as bad as that sounds that he worried so much about me that he started having symptoms). I felt really sick and was worried about how my mom would or wouldn't accept him. I had hoped he wouldn't kiss me or anything when I was in the hospital after he met my mom because I didn't want her to freak out. He had to leave early once my mom came, and instead of kissing me on the lips, he kissed my forehead. The moment he walked out, my mom told me that him forehead kissing me was a sign of fondness and care she hadn't seen in a long time, and she told me she liked him already. forehead kisses for the win :) I'll always cherish each and every one.

I pooped seven times today.

I just masturbated so hard that I jizzed on my own face accidentally. Felt really weird...

So I had a random text me and all she basically did was tell me her first name, that she uses the word cookie to describe her vag, and that she'll see me around campus. Thought I should share that with this page because I know I'm not the only one this has happened too. #Catfishy