To the girl with the elf ears today (3/26) at Einsteins at eleven-ish today. You're very cutie.

I got herpes from sleeping with someone on Tinder even though we used protection. I only found out I may have unknowingly infected twelve other people. Condoms alone don't protect against that shit so PLEASE get tested.

YO MALES YOU REALLY NEED TO STEP UP YOUR SEX GAME. YOU ARE ONLY GETTING AWAY WITH THIS MEDIOCRE SHIT BECAUSE A LOT OF THESE GIRLS ARE TOO INEXPERIENCED AND YOU NEED TO FIX THAT AND HERE IS HOW:
(why do you need this? Because sure you can just get off by having a fuck and then kicking her out, or you can make women worship you and find out what sex is really about. your choice.)

-finger her like a lesbian would. No bullshit about how the vagina is confusing. You have the internet. Figure that shit out. Mostly, know that your finger is not your penis. Dont just jab it around like a penis. Use your penis for penis things and fingers for fingering things. the clitoris is like a wishbone- goes down both sides, not just at the top.Use the "come hither motion". And use your mouth and tongue and your whole body to turn her on. Study this shit.

-oral- do it. with different techniques. dont just fucking lick it like a dog trying to find a piece of food in there. so unattractive. For beginners- spell out the ABCs with your tongue. Also dont slurp on purpose. not hot. its not soup. Dont make her think of soup and mysterious swamp monster noises while you're trying to make her orgasm.

-anal- nobody just puts it in the wrong hole. Talk to her about it, and start slowly. And for christ's sake truffle buttering is NOT ok. she will get infected and its just nasty. new hole, new condom

-vaginal- wear a FUCKING CONDOM. learn how to use one properly! try different positions. If she's not wet enough in the beginning, make her get wet. Dont just lube it without even trying.

-also massage her tits.

Just a little word of advice. Guys, if you like her, dont dance around the subject or make her wonder or play that "too cool and mysterious" game with her. Be straightforward and communicate your feelings like an adult. Dont play games with her mind. If she's smart, she'll just move on.

Four words: To Pimp A Butterfly

To the gay guy in Sechrist who helped my friend when she tripped, you were really cute. Thank you for existing.

Given my degree, fitness, and lifestyle, people turn to me for dietary and health advice. What they don't know is that if I could, I'd spend most of my money on salt water taffy.

Some of my confessions are from problems I had from last year. I submit them to see how people react or how I could've done things better