I sleep with a beanie on to hold down my cowlick.

I wish chicks would just chill out sometimes. Just because I try to talk to you, doesn't mean I'm interested. Just because I talk to another girl, doesn't mean I'm cheating on you. I just want more chick friends (I'm a dude), even if I think the chick is gorgeous! Its like going to the Grand Canyon, you go for the sights, the attractions, the good times, but you don't go to try to stick your dick in it.

To the guys or Apparently dog who comments shit on every post, you're a hoe, u could be nicer with your broke language that reflects how shitty you are at the moment.

Every time I see a hot girl I be like " tell me that that pussy is mine"

When I get really sick, and I can't breath, I rent out a vacuum and use the hose to suck the snot out of my nose.

To the blonde girl who was in my Asian American history class I really wish I would have talked to you because you are beautiful....

I had a dream that my friend and I were a couple. Now I can't get her out of my head. She usually talks to me about guys and relationships, as do I. We talked a lot about a guy she really cares for last night. I'm not jealous, I'm just happy that she's happy. I don't know how to feel.

I realized there may be way more beautiful girls in college but it's a thousand times harder to find an interesting girl.