Symptoms of my hangover include nausea, headache, and McDonalds.

Why is it that every guy who holds open a door for you is a creeper, if he also wants to sleep with you? Why do you keep punishing guys for acting like a gentleman? Because he isn't attractive? Let's be honest ladies, the only reason you think holding open a door is creepy is because the guy is unattractive. So let's stop rewarding guys for being jerks and start appreciating the guys who are polite enough to do those things whether or not it is based on your level attractiveness.
P.S. I'm female and slightly irritated

Does running out of snacks count as cardio?

Why can't someone look at me the same way I look at pizza...

Stay classy, San Diego.

It's hard to make friends when everyone thinks you're a foreign exchange student from China.

Confession: I accidentally threw away my plate into the trash can tonight at the hotspot. This nice gentleman was standing beside me (I didn't know him) and he fished my plate out of the trash. To the guy who fished out my plate in the trashcan thank you very much! You are also attractive :)

Shout out to the people who direct traffic on campus, that job must absolutely suck but you all always seem to have a smile on your face, props : )