The feeling of taking a piss after a long day is better than an orgasm in my opinion.

24 hour library,,,who is going to be partying there all night?!

I swear if people keep riding my ass "tailgating" while I'm driving with ice on the road and I CANNOT see your headlights in my mirror, I am slamming hard on my brakes so you hit my car and you can pay for the damages. Seriously! Drivers that have no driving experience on the ice and snow you HAVE BEEN WARNED! Especially when I am going over the speed limit you STILL ride my ass! -An angry driver.

Dear Freshman:
Stop getting drunk to the point where you puke and/or pass out every single time you drink. You don't look cool, or cute, and I guarantee your roommates and friends are tired of dealing with your sloppy ass. Calm your shit.

I like to replace the seat on my bike with a dildo, and then I ride it in a skirt...watch out its windy!

Cute, short, quirky emo-ish Christian girl looking for a guy.

I enjoy pegging straight guys....when they least expect it

I like to shit in a condom and then freeze it. Then I get to wake up to an Alaskan Pipeline...In my Ass