Thursday, 12 December 2013 07:50 PM
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I just realized that is is really hard to jerk someone off and and suck dick at the same time. Try it with your hands. I feel like a retard.
Thursday, 12 December 2013 07:41 PM
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Definitely watching Barbie movies whist stoned. ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME. lol
Thursday, 12 December 2013 07:38 PM
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I'm in love with the idea of becoming the meanest, scariest looking piece of shit on campus. Even if it means I'll never get laid again at this school.
Thursday, 12 December 2013 07:17 PM
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I just came in the bathroom at the library and i dont regret it. But ladies watch your step please, I dont want any of you to slip... Im a squirter.
Thursday, 12 December 2013 06:56 PM
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I threw out a friend's trash but was lazy and put it in the bed of a truck. Now the owner is head hunting for my friend! Too funny!
Thursday, 12 December 2013 05:05 PM
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I had a dude ask if he could snort a line off of me...I said what do you like better my tits or my ass.
Thursday, 12 December 2013 05:02 PM
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Nothing relieves stress better than orgasms.
Thursday, 12 December 2013 05:02 PM
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That moment you read the first question of a final and you think, "Yep, I'm screwed."