I realized I hung out with a guy for a while because he was good looking. No intentions of dating him and we really didn't bond like friends. I'm a douche.

Tossing a girls salad makes squirting your dressing on her lettuce feel ten times better.

I got a boner watching Wolf of Wallstreet! That shit was RIDICULOUS! But most embarrassing was the fact that my father was sitting next to me...

So my fish died. I tried to resurrect him with crunched up Doritos but it didn't work... I've been lied to.

I use visa gift cards I get for Christmas to buy porn website subscriptions.

I'm still in love with my ex. Even after all this time.

I'm FREAKING out.
My major is accounting, and I haven't passed the skills assessment test. And I have to in order to take the courses past 302. This is my last semester to do so.
I got B's in 255 (87) and in 256 (80).
But I forget everything after I take a course.
What the hell am I supposed to do?
I got a 52% the first time I took it, and I'm scared to death that I won't be able to take classes...
AND I ONLY LEARNED ABOUT IT LAST SEMESTER.
What the hell. I'm going to fail. :(
Help?

She's beautiful. And I tell her everyday. And soon I'll see her, the first words she'll here me say, "you're beautiful..."