I know your eyes are at boob level. But seriously, my eyes are up here

I went to go hook up with this guy this weekend and everything was going good until I went to go grab his thing. It wasn't even longer than the width of my hand. Needless to say I laughed. Just wanted to say sorry bout it didn't mean to laugh ;)....not!

My best friend told me he's in love with me.... over Facebook chat.

Girls, don't tell us guys to use our balls and come talk to you because in the end you're probably not going to let us use our balls for what they're there for

i hate when people describe themselves on this confession page becuz you can legit make anything/one sound nice, like ‘tall, brown hair, blue-grey eyes, charismatic, vegetarian, very passionate about stuff’ and youre probably thinking wow that sounds pretty good, little did u kno i just described hitler

I find it strange how people seem to find it easier to accept people drinking alcohol until they fall over or unconscious on a regular basis, than to accept me not drinking any alcohol at all.

"Reality TV about people with no concept of reality" is a section on Netflix. Thank you Netflix :)

i hate men who have the gall to complain about women not shaving their legs or pits when their nasty ass is over with a hairy chest and stomach there looking like a goddamn werewolf

if a woman who doesn’t shave is unhygienic then what the hell are you