#22162 I farted in someones soup and watched them eat it. Take that fucker...

#22161 It's been one month and I haven't heard from you. The worst part is I have no idea what I did to deserve this. I still want you and I need you. Please contact me soon

#22160 One of the main reasons I refuse to send pics of my penis: I prefer to disappoint all of the women I know in person.

#22159 Sorry I missed your call. I've had my phone on do not disturb since August, 2012.

#22158 I graduated this past semester, but flew out of town before commencement so I could see my family (grandmother isn't doing too well), instead of PAYING to walk in some ceremony. Now, "Lifetouch" won't stop sending me reminder emails to buy pictures to "share my accomplishment." BUT because I was not there, they are soliciting for me to buy (very expensive) pictures of an empty fieldhouse with all the lights turned out inside. Fk you guys. fk. you.

#22157 With all the nice guy stuff floating around and all the comments I've been reading I'm a bit unsure about my behavior. Do you think it's okay to avoid a girl after you try to date them and they turn you down, or should you stick with them? I'm finding it extremely hard to do the latter and I'm wondering if there's something wrong with me...it just feels awkward as hell to be around them after that, and sometimes it hurts inside, especially when they end up choosing someone else and they're around them most of the time. It kinda feels like after said rejection there's a brick wall between us and it hurts like hell to keep trying to slam into it. And really, I don't think it can be helped, it's a brain and hormone thing and I think the only winning move to that game is not to play.

So ladies, how do you feel about this? Am I a total bastard or am I doing the right thing?

#22156 I denied my girlfriend sex. That's right, I withheld sex intentionally to make a point.
Me: WHO'S IN CHARGE NOW? [Yelled from my bed on the couch.]

#22155 I suffer from awesomnia.