#23428 I don't always drive 19th, but when I do I hit every single red light.

#23427 We all secretly wish it was our name showing up in President Cruzado's emails saying who is pure gold.

#23426 Listening to members of the men's basketball team have the loudest fucking conversation outside my apartment in the middle of the night trying to impress some trashy girl. Cool. Maybe go win some basketball games first.

#23425 Had sex with a girl from Tinder. She said she'd love to continue to do so with no strings attached. Sounds like a good deal, right? My only issue is that she likes to talk to me, and that might prove to be a deal breaker. Stupid people give me headaches.

#23424 I love you Matt!!

#23423 Sometimes I take the long way to class if I am behind a girl who smells nice, having a nice ass definitely has some influence as well.

#23422 To the kid who goes to the gym and only has one arm. I was feeling really tired and kind of just went through the motions until I glanced over at you working your damn tail off. You inspired me that day without saying a single word. So thank you for that. Keep up the good work bud!

#23421 When did Bruce Willis start preaching??