#23995 The Toaster Strudel kid Hans Strudel needs to have his little blond face punched a few times. I want to see how he thinks of warm, flaky, gooey TOASTER STRUUUUDELS then!

#23994 I fully enjoyed every aspect of the movie 50 Shades of Grey. I thought the romance was touching and the sex scenes were exactly what they should be for a movie. The ending of the movie brought me to tears. I'm an 18 year old straight guy.

#23993 I was painting a clock I had made for my mom for her birthday with the garage closed. I huffed so many fumes I nearly passed out. Instead I started hallucinating. I thought I was a bird and got naked, like a bird I guess, climbed on my car and jumped off to try and fly.

#23992 I have to eat chocolate every day. Even if it is just a little bit like a few chocolate chips. I think it is a real and true addiction because I cannot skip a day.

#23991 Last night, I was with this really attractive girl and I drank way too much on an empty stomach and ended up throwing up on her shoes. She was super pissed that I ruined her $500 heels and is demanding I buy her a new pair. My question is why the fuck do girls waste their money on stupid shit like that?!?

#23990 I am afraid of coming out and telling my fraternity brothers that I am gay. I don't want them to treat me differently or be disgusted and think that I am into them or something when I am not.

#23989 Kylie Edwards is smoking hot. Is she single?

#24014 Partied hard last night, called my DD telling her to pick me up. She asked where I was and I told her I was in a field as far as the eye could see. I was really in some random person's back yard downtown. Sooooooo happy she found me, otherwise things could've gotten very awkward.