#24044 Anyone know of some good places to go shooting on forest service or BLM land?

#24043 I want to be on the MSU basketball team so bad, but feel like it's too late to start.

#24042 I like my masturbation like I like my comics: short and featuring Auquaman

#24041 I think Bugs Bunny is WAYYYY better than Mickey Mouse!!!

#24040 I work with 5th and 6th grade kids. When I go to work, they're my priority. I don't foster a lot of relationships amongst coworkers with the exception of a few team leaders like myself. A team leader, who shall remain nameless, started working in my room in January. I do not know him well, as I only worked with him for 4 1/2 months before he went on to pursue a job opportunity this summer. A coworker asked me to contact him and ask if he would be coming back this fall to help. Lacking his number, I friend requested him on Facebook. He quickly added me, and immediately began messaging me asking if I had a boyfriend. His messages quickly escalated into calling me sexy, saying we should spend a few days together in the mountains, et cetera. I told him I was uncomfortable with the way he was talking to me, as we are professionals and coworkers, nothing else. On top of that, we've only exchanged small pleasantries in the minutes before kids arrived; he was very forward and pushy for not knowing me. I asked my boss if she wouldn't mind putting him in another room if he were to come back this fall, and she heartily agreed it would be a good solution. However, miscommunications occurred on behalf of my boss and now my coworkers believe it wasn't me his advances were directed towards, but rather the kids. In an effort to rectify this, I have been trying to clarify with several people, yet all of them have told me it's not a big deal and to let it go. I won't let it go, though. His conduct was extremely inappropriate, but to have a rumor going around that he is flirting with children is no way to handle the situation. Any advice as to what to do? I've tried tracking down my boss, but to no avail.

#24039 Morris Brown by Outkast is the best song ever...

#24038 Okay, this is how it goes. You get an orangutan. I'm not talking a little monkey or some dancing chimp bullshit, I mean a fucking orangutan. Don't ask me how you're gonna get a fucking orangutan, because that's not my problem.

So the orangutan's name is Clyde. This is non-negotiable; all orangutans are named Clyde. I don't know why that is, it's just how the world works. So you and Clyde become man (and ape) about town. You're seen everywhere together, you make the scene. You and friends go out in big groups. You talk loud, you laugh louder. Every time you say something witty, you high-five the orangutan. The town begins to buzz. It gets back to her. "Did you know the guy with the orangutan?", "You used to date the guy with the orangutan?", "Why would you break up with a guy with an orangutan?". Next thing you know she's calling.

"I'm hoping we can still be friends. Wanna hang out sometime?"

"Geez, I dunno; me and Clyde were going to go to monster truck race tonight (orangutans love monster trucks). In fact, the whole social calendar seems kinda full. I tell you what, I'll make a little note (what was your name again?) and maybe I can squeeze you in. Oh well, you know my number so don't be a stra-- Hey, look at the time! I gotta skate, Clyde's making Mojitoes."
At this point, the upper hand is yours. You can let her twist in the wind, you can draw her back into your life at the pace you decide. Whatever, it's your life. But if you're a smart man? You slowly phase her back in. You're IM-ing. You're talking on Live. You get invited to family functions. You bring Clyde, he becomes like one of the family. You're one big Brady Bunch.

#24037 Stop getting married, you idiots.