#24180 Why did the blonde get excited after finishing her puzzle in 6 months? -- The box said 2-4 years!

#24179 How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

#24178 I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect.

#24177 Just changed my Facebook name to ‘No one' so when I see stupid posts I can click like and it will say ‘No one likes this'.

#24176 I dated a girl back in high school that was a bitch to me. She was just the worst. She cheated on me with multiple people. I haven't talked to her in 5 years. But now I'm with the best girl on the planet, shes amazing. I have the greatest life! So, bitch, now that you go here, just know, you're not hot shit! You literary are shit. I hope college is going great for you, but no matter what, it's better for me.

#24175 PSA TO THE LADIES!

If a guy tells you he is going to break up with his girlfriend for you, at least have the decency and self respect to walk away from him until then. Make him be a man, if you're meant to be together it will happen, but if he overlaps you with his girlfriend, what makes you think he wouldn't do it to you too?
Sisters before misters! Chicks before dicks! It's time we showed the "bro code" who's boss!

-Not a feminist, just an objective observer

#24174 There's a group that always sits at the tables by the windows in the SUB, across from Union market. One of them is a pale-skinned woman with straight, red hair, and glasses.

She's gorgeous, and it takes everything that I have not to stare.

#24173 When I'm in the Town & Country across from the field house I can't stop staring at Danica.