Friday, 02 October 2015 02:19 AM
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That feel when you've got severe social anxiety and get tinder and swipe left on everyone because you're too scared you'll get a match
Friday, 02 October 2015 12:21 AM
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Remember kiddos, don't confuse love with lust.
Friday, 02 October 2015 12:14 AM
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Okk seriously, who was the asshole that puked on Kappa Sigma;s dance floor freshman year? I'm not mad, I just wanna know...
Thursday, 01 October 2015 10:49 PM
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I want a woman who can give me a healthy baby.
Thursday, 01 October 2015 10:17 PM
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Every time I consider dating someone I play it out in my head until I realize it doesn't work out. Saves me the time and the heartbreak.
Thursday, 01 October 2015 09:07 PM
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The other day my boyfriend squeezed my boobs and said "It's like ringing a doorbell, you just light up." To which I replied "It's more like using the knockers." Ayyyyyooo
#punsforlife
Thursday, 01 October 2015 08:39 PM
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If you miss someone, tell them. Missing someone doesn't make you weak. Who knows, I bet they miss you too.
Thursday, 01 October 2015 07:58 PM
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Hey, nice of you to leave this note, but next time could you leave your name and number so I can call you and tell you to shove it up your ass?
PS you have nice handwriting, you're still a bitch though.
