"Sarah Rose are you single? you seem like a nice person on facebook and i would love to get to know you better. from what i' ve seen your cute and intelligent!"

"To the redhead that lives on the second floor of Anderson, you are a perfect mermaid lady. You can come under the sea with me any time. ;D"

"I love playing with my own boobs. They're just so heavy and bouncy!"

"If Gwen Olson were a president, shed be baberaham Lincoln."

"All I want to do is nap and eat"

"I'm addicted to making myself sneeze."

"I don't want to have sex, I just want to cuddle."

"I live in Drew, and I get really angry when I see that people have torn down some of the hallway decorations. I know the RAs put a lot of thought and time into those. Seeing them lying on the ground just makes me feel like I'm back in middle school with a bunch of immature morons."