"To everyone on my floor complaining about how there isn't any hot water in the mornings. I just took a nice hot shower over the last 30-45 minutes and the hot water seemed to be working perfectly. I seriously don’t know what you guys have been complaining about."

"It's noon on a tuesday, and I am really really drunk. What has my life become?"

"I cannot believe how loud and rude some of the people at Anderson are. I'm sorry you never got enough attention at home, but there's no reason for all of Anderson to hear whatever you feel the need to yap about."

"Anderson Hall needs to learn a little bit about Jazz."

"honestly, every time when I hear the word "yoga pants" or see a girl wearing it or a picture of a girl wearing it, I can feel the intense blood flow flowing towards my junk. is that normal?"

"I could really use some reliable, trustworthy, and caring girl friends. any takers?"

"Recently I have realized that as hard as I try to make a difference and strive for past my means I am being constantly put down by many sources. I chose Hamline because I wanted to make a difference in many peoples lives and be someone that accomplishes something worth memory. And I may have many "relationships" with students, I am just a dollar sign and ID number to Hamline and most likely will be nothing more then that which is extremely upsetting to me. I am 9###### and $33,236."
(FULL ID REMOVED - HUC)

"I have a very fancy dildo that spins and has a vibrator attached, who needs a hookup when you have pure perfection?"