"I can't stand my roommate. Please, to all of you out there - if you are the messier one between you and your roommate, get your shit together and stop being a pig. Do your dishes, take out your trash, do your damn laundry (WASHING YOUR BEDDING IS INCLUDED IN "DOING LAUNDRY"). Those dorm rooms start to smell after a while, ya know. Oh, and please, ladies, conceal your vibrators from plain sight. Your roommates (and their friends) really don't want to know the color (or shape) of your vibrator. Please and thank you."

"I'm having a nostalgic moment. Due to bad spring-time allergies, my throat is really sore (among other allergy related things) and it's reminding me of how sore my throat was the day after I gave my first blowjob. These are the precious moments we should all live for, people.
This is only relevant to Hamline in the fact that I am sitting in my dorm room at Hamline at the moment. Sorry I'm not sorry."

"To the girl concerned with overly generic posts applying to her: I'm the guy who wrote "She seemed to really like me in the beginning but something had happened that made her break up with me. She told me a reason but i don't think she was being truthful. Now I'm sad" Feel free to send a message and catch up with whoever you think you left behind and if it just so happens to be me answering that message, I just want to talk and let both our minds rest easy. If turns out to be someone else I'm sure they'd appreciate the message just as much"

"Wanna holla real quick at Joe Vetter! You're a star."

"My fuck buddy comes home this weekend. To bang or not to bang? That is the question."

"Is it wierd that I watched an episode of LOST on my tablet while taking a shower? I just really like the hot water, heck, any ladies wanna join?:D"

"I just got a new phone, and so I had to delete all the dirty pictures on my old one so my techie bro could transfer all my info. I'm kind of upset I lost them, there were some really good ones on there!"

"I have a newfound crush on a female student worker in the Accounting/Payroll office. Such a cutie."