"Whoever ate my tuna sandwich in the locker room fuck you it had old pickles on it i hope you like old pickles scummy thief"

"Ever smoke weed out of a whiskey barrel"

"I've had feelings for a guy since coming back after Christmas break. We're so close though and it's always been the wrong timing for me. I don't know how he feels about me though either..."

"If you're dumb enough to take her back, then you can have her cheating a**. But don't say I didn't tell you so. I'm done being quality control, bro."

"Madeline Stauber you're so amazing. You're so fun and bubbly and I'm hardcore crushing on you but too scurred to do anything about it."

"Mikael be my friend!"

"I ripped ass in my class today and it wasn't silent...just as the teacher finished asking the class a question. Those five seconds of silence post flatulence were the some of most tense and humiliating moments of my life. I'm so disappointed with myself, I'm usually pretty good at making them silent..."

"To the person looking for a roommate uhhh. I kind of need one too but I'm afraid of stating that not anonymously because it'd be awkward if I don't like you or have some reason I wouldn't want to room with you but if you non-anonymously comment on this and revealing myself wouldn't be hella awkward, maybe we could talk?"