"I masturbate everyday. I have a girlfriend..."

"Whenever someone writes a confession I almost feel the need to look up who they are. However I only do that when they tag the person because I am to lazy to try and spell the person's name. Forever a creep."

"peeing in the shower has to be a top 5 best sensation, sooo convenient and it saves water "

"Can we stop arguing about The Beatles? Some people like them, some people don't. OK. I'm over it."

"So I'm kinda in the classic case of "the one that got away." There's this redhead girl named Christine who was in two of my classes in my freshman year; three years ago. She transferred out after that year, and I can't find her on FB or anything like that. She was super awesome though, and we got along great. Anyone still in touch with her at all? If you were in Poli-Sci in Fall 2009, you might know her. Please reply if so!"

"There's a guy in my class named Lee who I really want to befriend so I went to add him on facebook, but I can't find him!"

"Does anyone else stare at the sidewalks and pretend they're KARTING SO FUCKING HARD ON RAINBOW ROAD"

"One time last year I saw this bug on my dorm floor and instead of killing it I named it Frank and built it a condo and fed it and cared for it the whole year and Frank was there whenever my roommate would go to parties and not invite me and Frank was there when my roommate was having loud sex and Frank was there when he took my tuna sandwich but then Frank died in a fire and now I am alone"