Madeline H....... Damn, the things we could do to each other......

Checks student email. Me: Okay that's enough homework for the day.

You think you can punk me
I'd like to see you try to funk on me
While I'm rappin and rhymin up a scheme
a scheme to make you get up and try to fuck with me so I can cut your spleen
I'll make Bruce Jenner forget that he ever lived
Because he knows that his kids will hate him because he lived
Yea I just rhymed like Lil Wayne on that last line, like rhyming nigga with nigga
I'm the greatest rapper alive!

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Benny S. is sexy
Come over and screw

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I have herpes
And now T____ does too

Emailed my professor saying that I couldn't come to class because I was too drunk.
Got an Email back saying, 'It's fine, that's how college is supposed to be'
#Winning

Our roommate has decided that the living space is now their bedroom. What was once our place to hang out and watch TV now stinks.

The end of the semester is coming like labor pains on a pregnant woman.