My children must love Harry Potter. If they don't, I'll just throw them in a cupboard under the stairs and then they won'y have to love Harry Potter THEY WILL BE HARRY POTTER.

i wish i knew more stoner girls on campus. me and my buds would love to get high with you beautiful ladies.

Sometimes while masturbating, I play the song "You're the Best Around" and gyrate my hips to the music.

I seriously just want an all around good guy. Preferably a baseball player. Tall. Who loves to watch baseball and hockey. Who will just cuddle and watch movies and that I can make brownies for :(. But who will also take me out for a good time! But all the guys I've talked to here just move from girl to girl :/

who here at Augie just wants good internet and doesn't care about a new student center and art gallery? i want to do my online homework when i want to do it and i want to play online games. Augustana's priorities are in the wrong place. they want to show off with blingy external things not improve the lives of their students.

Everyone keeps talking about wanting to bang someone while I'm over here loving on this bag of peanut butter m&ms

Differences between upperclassmen and underclassmen:
1. Advisors:
Underclassmen: What's an advisor? I do what I want.
Upperclassmen: I know my advisor on a first name basis and actually use them. They're the best!
2. Going to class:
Underclassmen: I've missed most of my class this week... I'm getting all 'A's!
Upperclassmen: I missed a class period... I'm probably going to fail the course.
3. Walking around on campus:
Underclassmen: Fuck I can't stop running into people I've slept with...
Upperclassmen: Do I actually know anyone at this school?!
4.Partying during the week:
Underclassmen: I party most days of the week, except for tuesday. That's reserved for drunken essay writing.
Upperclassmen: Partying during the week? Are you nuts? I have ten thousand things to do tonight or I FAIL... Every. Frickin. Course.
5. Open Frat Parties:
Underclassmen: FRAT PARTIES WOOO HOOOOOOO! I live for this shit!
Upperclassmen: woo hoo? I'd rather eat my own liver.
6. Sex:
Underclassmen: SEXXXXXXXXXXXX! I want more SEXXXXXX! SEX AND ALCOHOL! That's all I need!!!!
Upperclassmen: So, you don't have an STD, do you?

my friends are constantly either whispering/talking to each other or me during class and I really want to tell them to shut up because I'm trying to listen to the professor/other students