The attractive guy-to-girl ratio is definitely off at this school. Girls step your game up.

Courtney Tate is one of the most beautiful half-Asian girls I've ever met.

I'm pretty sure a bunch of my female friends are attracted to me because I'm gay. I honestly don't understand it. It's like they somehow find it romantic that I don't want to have sex with them.

I have had sex with a guy from every fraternity on campus except the DONs. I've tried with 7 of them but none of them fit. Oh well, back to the Roadhouse.

Dearest men who live on 3W in Westerlin.... On the back of the frozen pizza, they give very clear instructions. You should consider following them. And please set an alarm on your phone so you don't forget about the pizza. If you follow these words of wisdom, we probably won't have stupid fire alarms go off when it is negative five degrees out. Sincerely yours, one of the residents of Westerlin who almost froze to death.

When I feel stressed about school... I just think of what my grandpa told me about college: "College is nothing but a license to get a job." I miss him.

When you never do anything right, I guess you shouldn't do anything at all. Story of my life.

I believe that any sex outside of a man-woman marriage is a sin...but you can't really say that out loud at a liberal school.