I used to walk around lower campus at night and just meditate on life. When I really had to pee I used to go down the steps that lead the basement of Denkman and piss all over them. This was normally once a week.

I can't tell you how many times I've faked an orgasm. Seriously, I fake it 9 out of 10 times. Pathetic, I know I guess I just hook up with guys who don't know what the fuck they're doing. And the funniest thing is that they think they do, and that they're like these sex Gods blessing me with their mediocre penis. HA! If only they knew... I'm too nice to bust down their ego though, so I let them live their life thinking they've got the magic touch when they definitely do not. And when I see them around campus, I can't help but smirk and laugh a little to myself.

Augie students: stop using this page as a way to complain about how you hate the school, you have no friends, you can't find a guy to date, you hate your life, etc, etc. Understand the difference between complaints and confessions and actually confess to it rather than complain about it, i.e. instead of "I hate Augustana, I haven't made a friend all term I'm so lonely" try "I'm having a hard time finding people to bond with so I usually end up watching disney movies and masturbating on a friday night"
I think everyone would much rather enjoy this if you confess something you would never otherwise say. I'm not saying confessions can't be grim or sad sometimes, but if you don't have any friends or hate the school/the way your life has turned out then for God's sake's CHANGE IT! You have the power to do that. It's called putting in some effort. And on that note, my confession what you just read: I often masturbate after I watch a Disney movie, cause it puts me in such a good mood I just gotta show myself some love.

I have the reputation of the hot girl that none of the guys can get and I want to keep it that way. If I turn you down, just know that I probably want to fuck you so hard that GOD will feel it. I just don't want to be another slut on this tiny, gossipy campus.

I went to school here, I was a CA. I drank with my residents out of the dorms, twice in the dorms, and multiple times alone in my room. I think I greatly contributed to the amount of vomit in my floor's bathroom and the floor fines...which I never had to pay.

I think I might have ruined my relationship with one of my really good friends on campus. We used to talk all the time and now we don't. The sad part is... I might be ok with that. It's like I knew this person's personality, but then found out I didn't. Oh well, life goes on and so must I move with it.

I see this random guy walking around in shorts everyday in the winter. What the hell is wrong with that guy? Put some pants on!

The best sports team in Chicago this year has to be the 2013 Chicago Blackhawks. The worst team? The Chicago Cubs... always!