I only like to eat salads because I like the nice smooth (yet powerful) shit they give me. In all honesty I worry that the plumbing in my house wont be able to take the abuse next year.

Took a shit so loud and violent today it sounded like a potato gun going off. It was the single greatest experience of my life.

I didn't like "The Great Gatsby" book, I don't plan on seeing the movie, and thought that the soundtrack was just ok.

Who ever was playing the violin around 5 in westie... Thank you for calming my nerves with your beautiful sound. Keep up the amazing work!

Yeah, I ave diabetes and take my insulin in public. But it isn't contagious and you don't have to give me dirty looks when I take life-saving shots. Not like I've got my boobs out and I'm feeding a baby. Even then, I shouldn't have to go to the restroom. It's unsanitary.

So earlier this term, I saw you banging your boyfriend in the gazebo, and all I can think now whenever I see you is "girl, you're too big to be on top". Oh and littering is bad mmmmkay. so don't leave your condom wrapper on the ground. Littering is bad mmmmmkay.

I feel bad for the chick rockin' the huge plummer crack on the "pic of the day" on campusnet... awkward.

Whoever in 3D in Erickson was yelling about Chapstick at 1am: thank you for waking up the whole floor over that dispute. The majority of us were trying to fall asleep.