To all freshmen guys and gals,

No matter what opinion you have of greek life based on TV or other schools you've visited, I have two things to say. 1.) Greek life is much different here than national schools. Believe me, I didn't like greek life coming into college. However, don't avoid active members and if you go to their parties in the fall (not that any greek groups have parties... we're all perfect humans who study all weekend) or have a class with a member, i suggest talking to them and asking them about greek life. They'll be more than glad to talk to you about it because we want you to be a part of our group. If you don't get a chance to talk to one then 2.) Rush in the winter. Even if you don't plan on joining, rush is worth it. You meet some great people and I was bordering not joining going into it, but it helped me make my decision. I am now a part of a great group and have a lot of great friends by my side at all times because of it. It's been the best three years of my life and I want my last year to be a great first year for all of you. Just a bit of advice from a fellow Augie student.

My girlfriend dumped me because she said that I was too much of a kid for her and needed to grow up. I said that she was crazy for saying that and that I'd prove it to her. As I got up from my bean bag to stop her from leaving, I dropped my juice box and it exploded all over my gameboy color. Then I started crying and called my mom to tell on her. Psh.. Women...

Heard that threesomes are weird... still would like to try one though.

I will be new to Augie and want to know what professors are hot. I swing both ways.

Sometimes, when I'm alone and I close my eyes, all I can hear is screaming. The voices shriek ungodly truths into my head, and in my passing moments of lucidity I am granted the mad ecstatic understanding of humanity's origins, current existence, purpose, and inevitable demise. I can hear the crawling of the things in the walls, the ancient ones deep beneath the surface of the earth, in the skies, in mirrors when nobody is looking, and in the untold corners of the collective unconscious that no mortal would think to delve or dare to examine in detail. I have seen into the heart of the abyss and its gaze has struck me down. I have witnessed the inconceivable. I have heard the unknowable. I have comprehended the impossible.

But I still can't see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

Question for music students/students who have taken a piano lesson! I took piano lessons for ten years prior to coming to augie, but I have developed some hand issues and have lost a lot of quality. I want to enroll in a lesson to try to build back some skills, but I don't want to waste the instructor's time. Are the lessons really strict or should I not even be concerned and just do it?

I am SOOOOO over summer! I just want to get back to school so I actually have a social life again!

I think porn bloopers are hilarious.