Okay I think I have a problem.... I promised myself I would be super productive and study all day long after just 1 masturbation session.... That was at 10 am and 6 masturbations ago FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!

I'm a guy and I'm a proud feminist. However, I'm not a fan of eurocentric/americentric feminism that doesn't consider the cultural perspectives of non-white peoples #staywoke

They should open up a Krispy Kremes to replace the Panda Express in the student union. They'd make so much fuckin money

Okay, serious question. Why don't some people flush the fuckin toilet after taking a shit?!?! Do you get some sort of weird sick satisfaction knowing people will walk into a stall and have no choice but to glance at your feces? Do you feel like you've achieved a sense of masculinity knowing that you didn't follow conventional social etiquette? Do you high five your friends afterwards and grunt-laugh like "har har har!!! my dick is so hard right now from being so masculine from not flushing the toilet after shitting brah!!! har har har!!!" FLUSH THE TOILET !!!!

Last semester my professor told me I had a memory like Dory from Finding Nemo. I got irritated so I went down to Mirror Lake and threw little pieces of subway bread to see if it would attract the small fish they have in there. Luckily they did and when they did I peed on them. HA! take that! stupid Dory

Oh gosh I've been so guilty about something and I need to get it off my chest. Today, I had such an awful awful day. My professor gave me an 96/100 on an assignment and he wouldn't let me make up those 4 points. I was so darn angry at him that while walking towards B lot where I parked my car, I....... crossed the street without looking both ways. There I said it! Whewwww!!! I feel so much better now! I think it's appropriate for me to say I'm so #thuglife #LMAO

Saw a dude in the library today who was silently "yassssing" by himself today. Then a minute later, I don't know whether he figured out a difficult math problem or scored a hot date with a girl he met on tinder, but he had a weird way of celebrating it... He licked his fingers then reached under his shirt and rubbed his nipples and then put his finger to his nose and inhaled deeply as he closed his eyes..... what in the actual fuck???

Saw a white guy wearing baggy ass pants as if he was in a 90s rap music video. LMAO u late as shit Slim Shady, upgrade.